Of all the experiences in this program, the In Your Shoes™ performances stood out to me the most. Hearing my own voice—with all my filler words, mannerisms, and laughter repeated back to me—was one of the most disorienting and profound things I have ever experienced. I remember sitting there feeling this wave of familiar self-consciousness that what I had said wasn’t smart or coherent enough. But then Rabbi Rachel Gartner, the facilitator, said something I will never forget: that this excerpt, out of 20 minutes of conversation, was chosen because it’s beautiful and because it’s worth it. And in that moment, I felt something shift. I felt truly heard, not just when I’m being articulate or insightful, but simply as I am. The transformative power of that moment for me and everyone in the room was palpable.
After that session, I called my mom, who’s a facilitator herself, so she always wants to hear about what I’m learning. I told her about my experience, and we ended up having one of the most meaningful conversations we’ve ever had. We talked about the tension between sharing your voice and constantly editing it, especially as women today. By the end, we were both in tears. That level of vulnerability and depth would not have happened without this program. That’s the impact of these methodologies: they don’t just change how you understand others, but how you understand yourself, creating a ripple effect that improves every relationship around you.
What I didn’t expect was how much teaching these skills would deepen my own understanding of them, and how giving feedback and seeing others’ progress could make me even more aware of my engagement with dialogue. Through the Leadership Dialogue Training Program, I had the chance to join the methodologies of my organization, BridgeUSA-DC, and the Doyle Dialogue Fellows program to teach student leaders dialogue skills. I was challenged throughout the planning process to design a curriculum that honored the Dialogue in Threes Skillset in its entirety, while allowing room for leaders to discuss how these skills directly apply in their communities.;
I grew so much during this process. As a facilitator, I became much more aware and intentional as I modeled these skills, watched others learn and practice them, and gave feedback in the moment. Because of what we learned about communicator styles, I was more focused on my tendency to overtalk in a conversation, and I tried to step back and open up the floor to discussion as much as possible. I also didn’t anticipate how difficult time management would be, both in the planning process and during the event itself, but now I feel much more confident in my ability to structure a meaningful conversation while considering all the logistics and moving parts. I am truly so excited for the chance to officially launch this program in the fall and dedicate my time here to contributing to a deeper culture of dialogue on Georgetown’s campus.
On a broader scale, I truly think every person on earth should have the chance to learn these dialogue skills. In America, our society desperately needs reconciliation, receptivity, and reconnection. I believe that won’t be possible until and unless we are all more willing to truly understand another person’s point of view. I’m very grateful I had the opportunity to learn these skills as a first-year undergraduate student, because I think they will benefit me for my entire life. I want to help others feel more confident expressing themselves, more able to deeply listen and connect with others, especially in our polarized world. Through the Leadership Dialogue Program, in the classroom, and hopefully, one day in policy development, I hope to bring dialogue to the forefront of our conversations and our daily lives to bring our society closer together.
